Speechless

The truth has crept into my skin,

causing me to cringe.

I sit here with my gaze,

reminiscing brighter days.

But as I realize the truth, my memories shatter.

For I now know that they do not matter.

You managed to make a fool out of me.

Took away the blindfold to let me see.

The woven web of deceit that you've made,

has been placed where you and I have laid.

I felt the world fly by me leaving me in the dark.

Each horrible truth leaves its perpetual marks.

Deeply installed into my twisted mind.

You had made me believe that you were kind.

But within each syllable and simile used,

I now know my heart has been abused.

This repulsive creature who once said it all to see,

now sits there, patronizing and mocking me.

He has taken the ability away for me to comprehend,

that this fairytale was truly a horror story in the end.

How can lessons of life teach something like this?

I can only sit here alone, shocked and speechless.

Light

And we laid there.
Still as ever, finally breathing steadily.
Sighing, and grinning.
Although it was dim, I knew what I was looking at.
As if chiseled by marble, perfection stared into my eyes.
Pieces of smooth skin placed perfectly on his body.
The faintest light hitting the ripples on his arms.

I buried my head into his chest, hearing his heart hum a tune.
I let my hand wander over his torso, as if making a new discovery.
I placed my lips softly on his collar bone, hoping he takes it as a blessing.

The light only shone on him, giving my sight the gift of witnessing his presence.
His rugged hands placed on my hips below the thin sheet, lightly brushing with his thumb.

His crevices defining his godliness and masculinity.
His smile almost distracting me from his flawless exterior.

He called me his fallen angel.
He was my halo, he was my light. He was my temple.

As The Leaves Change

As time passes,

the leaves begin to change.

And when they do,
I reluctantly remember the pain.

Within each color of rich gold and earthy browns,

I remember words exchanged between us, which were once profound.

As I travel through the deep oranges and the fiery reds,

I attempt to let the autumn breeze blow away your image from my head.

As if the breeze that comes along with the Fall,

has heard my weary thoughts sad call.

While the wind whips leaves into the cool air,

I began to feel nostalgic wishing you were here.

The fallen leaves are no longer dry,
for along with the grey heavens, I begin to cry.

No matter how much strength I try to gain,

Your beauty always weakens me.

As the leaves change.

Our Hands

My fingers intertwined with yours,

woven together as if they had been before.

A perfect combination in tone and feel,

the pulse in your fingertips show that its real.

And although we don't exchange words

our clasped hands say more than what is heard.

"Palm to Palm is Holy Palmer's kiss"
We have made it clear through this.

It is not needed for me to share,

the fact that we have grown to care.

Not about words, or lusty actions.

We know that we both want that passion.

But let's be simple and take a stand.

Let's show the world our affection,

by holding each others hands.

Lips

You are a peculiar beauty,
enveloped in grace.

But the most facsinating cargo,
rests blissfully on your face.



The swift curves of your mouth
are appealing to the eyes.


An amazing discovery for the senses.
Shockingly stimulating to all five.


My eyes admire your lips,
like a piece of refined art.



My fingers wish to trace them not knowing when to finish,
not knowing where to start.


I hear the sweetest sounds escape from between these plush blessings.
The words the flow out from between them, constantly keep me guessing.



As if your fine mouth sends me invitations to visit with kisses,
All i can do is want to fulfill their wishes.



You are a unique beauty,
but the reason to smile has been appropriately placed.

Not hidden behind pieces of fabric or cloth,
but perfectly positioned on your lovely face.

divine gift to my lips.

Bad Decision.

Painful decision.
Ignore the blurred vision.

Shield your heart.
It should never have to depart.

Burning words.
Completely Absurd.

But as honest as it comes.
The growing has begun.

Chilling Touch.
That was too much.

It turns your blood cold.
But you remind yourself to be bold.

You react.
Remember: Be detached.

You give a hard smile
your mind races for miles.

Bitter feeling.
gradual healing.

sweet revenge.
lesson taught
forgave,not forgot.

realization of the fact
my affection for you can never be won back.

take that.

Flock Of Dreams

It was within a flock of dreams,
that you were brought to me it seems.

A sweet child like face,
found deep within my heart's place.

You visited me every night
while i rested my head.
bringing thoughts of desire and delight
and all within my bed.

Of course i mean in my fluttering thoughts,
where your affection is something to be taught.

How you found your way into my mind,
how you managed to turn every dream of mine, benign?

I shut my eyes, see you, and i feel jubliant.
You kiss me, smile and you are simply radiant.

But as everything crashes with a thunderclap,
I see you fade as my nightmare's wings flap.

I awake one night and can no longer sleep.
Knowing in my heart, the love was only skin-deep.

It was not anything i ever truly had.
And from there, every dream of you was sad.

For nothing is as it seems,
even within my flock of dreams.

Heart Break

It causes an ache, which is all to familiar.

It begins in the eyes, which glaze over with tears.

What you see with those glossy spheres causes your head to spin.

The ache sends a shot of ice down your spine,

making your hair stand erect and your skin unnatually ridged with fleshy bumps.

As if your skin is expressing the same sadness that your teary eyes show.

That very same ache, reluctantly greets that lump in your throat.

It is as if the devil himself placed it there to watch you squirm
in your tense tight shell.

This ache brings on waves of pain and irritation.

Like an itch you can't scratch, like a splinter in your foot.

It is the acid you taste in your mouth, the pain...

To complete it comes the heart.

Yes, that treacherous muscle which exposes every emotion!

It bangs and thumps causing your chest to heave.

It tries to race with your thoughts, it outruns all your senses.

That aching tear in your heart.

Causes you to lose total control.

Your knees buckle, making you feel as weak as a colt.

You glance at your hands, wishing someone would grab them.

But all your hands do is wipe your salty tears.

The shattering of your body and of your sense

takes you to a whole other world of loneliness.

Heart Break.

The Night

as the moon rays hit the still waters

at that point life could not go further.

the beauty within each nocturnal sound

made her fantasies easily found.

for each howl to the immortal moon.

made the ripples slowly swoon.

and each flick of a fishes tail,

helped the mist slowly sail.

fireflies that light the night

made her mind erase her frights.

each breathe she took numbed her senses

and each dewy grassblade made her pensive.

so as the summer breeze embraced her skin

something slowly seeped from within.

the stars will forever be Graceful,

as long as each thought was of her being thankful.

Whore

A few bucks for the night.

Give him whatever he wants.

Do not speak.

Do not complain.

Just work.

It Used to be for pleasure you know.

But now, it ain't nothin' like that.

They call us names ya know?

Whores, prostitutes, hookers.

We ain't insulted, but we don't fucking appreciate it.

We are women of the night; a lower class of working women if you think about it.

Some of us got bosses just like the rest of you folks.

And we gotta do what the boss asks.

No arguing, No talking back.

Even we got "work etiquette".

For those who are laughing, shut up.

We aren't too different.

We get paid on comission- like some of ya.

We have our good nights and bad nights- everyone has those.

Some of us ain't got a fucking choice. Some of us do though.

Some of us are used to the lifestyle of Abuse. Of Drugs. Of Sex. Of Hell.

Same way some of you females are used to domestic violence from your husbands.

Same way some of you males go to play poker and need a drink every friday night with the boys.

Same way you lawyers and cops "fuck" everyone over, or same way you people can bring war and hell to those poor kids.....

Call us whores. Judge us. We are dirt and filth.

We are infected with disease.

But we do not fund wars, we do not cross the crack over at the border.

We simply recieve.

Yes we blow, we fuck and we get paid.

But what we do with one married man who has 3 kids

is nothing to what you folks do to the rest of the world.

Now Fuck Off and Let Me Work.

There was a Time

There was A time where you could have been mine.

Where it would have been your arms,

pulling me in for neverending embraces.
There was a time where we could have relied on each other.

It would have been me cheering you up,

making sure that everything is at your hearts content.

There was a Time where you could have held my hand.

Where it would be us staring at each other,

not caring about a damn thing but what the other has to say.

There was a time where I could have smiled because of you.

Where I would rise with the sun with a smile on my heart,

knowing you would be there to recieve it.

There was a time where we could have kissed.

It would have you feeling my soft lips,

along the hollow of your throat.

There was a time where I could have been your pillar.

Where I would stand by you through it all,

but not take it as an obligation; it would b a privilege.

There was a time where we could have made love.

Where it would b us exchanging passionate

touches, moans and stares.

There was a time where it could have been so much more.
But one can only wonder love, where has that time gone?

Passionate Blurs

Such swiftness in our movements.

Almost graceful, but with an edge.

A desire that takes over our nerves.

Your hands take the reigns and drive my senses over the edge.

Your cool tongue sends fiery chills up my back,

as it traces the buds on my chest.


Such swiftness with our bodies.

Almost delicate but with an urge.

A need to have eachother that moment.

An exchange of lusty glances and electric kisses.

Your grasp makes my skin tingle, my hair stand on end.

As I feel you filling in every edge of my body.



Such swiftness with our passion.

Almost musical but with a rather hot rhythm.

A sound that sends each of us to a place of euphoria.

An unexplainable outburst due to the exstasy held within

each thrust and push. A ride that sets my heart into a fine frenzy.



Such swiftness in our passionate blurs.

Almost whole, but with a mysterious force.


A shrine of lucid wishes and attainable goals.


Where palms and skin and every bit of your body,


whispers to me that we are whole. we are one movement.


We are love.

Are you there?

God, Are you there?

Its been a long road, and i thought our love/hate relationship would b over with. Although i sit here alone, I can't help but talk to you.

Huh, isn't that funny?

I used to make fun of those that walked with a crucifix hanging around there necks, and now...

Damn I am selfish aren't I?

Well, I bet you've dealt with people who are overflowing with with selfishness who only pray for more bonds and luck in the stock market. Fucking rich pigs.

So, where do I start man?

I used to go to church as a kid, with a mom and dad who loved me and treated me like gold. They only wanted what was right for me. The good path of humblenss; they would say.

Where did I go wrong?

Avoiding drugs and shit in high school was impossible. I started with pot, then i did X and from there it turned to cocaine and other crap.

Why didn't you stop me?

I wondered that every time u know. Everytime i sniffed that rail up, or everytime I stuck that needle in my bruised arms i would ask myself; Are u there you "o' merciful"?

When did I really hate you?

I think when i woke up in a dumpster, I blamed you. I would curse ur name every day man. Blame you for my broken nose when i fought for drugs. Blame you for my lack of.....virtue.

I'm not that old am i?

.....I'm really not. 25. I should be working on getting married, a beautiful wife with kids. A career, that lovely house with that white picket fence.

I messed up didn't I?

I look at myself now, and i see how destroyed my skin is. Sallow and almost yellow. My hair basically grey. My teeth are disgusting. I'm homeless. Im worthless.I'm alone.

This is it isn't it?

Im stuck here, in this alley. Fighting for my life. I picked the wrong path.Humbleness. Me and my pigheaded self- I fell for that shit. Do this, try that. It aint all that bad. I got addicted.

I'm dying aren't I?

Is this why I feel like repenting?

Am I reaching that point God?

Can I still be saved?

Save me. Please.

I'm not ready.

Are you there?

....Forgive me.

Tus Ojos

" Tus Ojos, Tus Ojos"

Your eyes, contain the innocence of cherubs.
They Obtain the destruction of man.

As if you are the reason for the fallen walls of Troy.
You and your eyes, create love and destroy minds. How chaotic.

"Tus Ojos, Tus Ojos"

Stare and pierce into my mind.
Creating accidents and collisions with my thoughts and what makes sense.

Your lips are hidden by the most beautiful rose, as if trying to compare
the sweetness in smell and feel. How dangerous.

"Tus Ojos, Tus Ojos"

It is all I think when you stare at me, with curiosity and delight.
My emotions clearly on my face, telling you my desires.

Your skin pours out the sweet sins of a man's yearning for passion.
You angelic temptress, you divine sin. How tempting.

"Tus Ojos, Tus Ojos"

As if within your clear blue eyes, hides the mysteries of the oceans.

You visually quench the thirst of my eye sight.

Although your body screams lust, your endearing eyes-

captivate the innocence within your soul. How alluring.

"Tus Ojos, Tus Ojos"

As if your cool soft gaze, sends chills down my spine.

You raise goosebumps up my skin, making my hair stand on end.

You finally whisper, as if tempting to send my senses awry.

As clear as crystal, as soft as the creamy petals of a rose you simply say;

"Look into my eyes - what do you see?"

You changed me

A life of grayness, of nostalgia.

Where emotion was non existent.

Where expression was dim and weak.

I never knew what could exist beyond, these melancholy boundaries.

I bounded myself to a board of nails, discomfort was my being.



How your precious orbs fell upon me, I have yet to understand.

A light shone from you, brightening my days prepetually.

How my monochromatic world began to change.



You introduced shades of warmth within every interior of my body.



You taught the world to glow on every exterior, down to the thorniest rose.



How you changed me sweetness, and help me see.

How you helped me love and taught me change.

How you loved me dear and helped change me.

Tear Ducts

pointless things.

i don't see why i have them.

they bait me out everytime.

They leak.

They blur my damn vision.

They make my eyes look glossy

almost glass.

So Fucking Stupid!

as if anyone needs to see them

roll down my face.

like waves of embarassment.

Embarassment! That's It!
These stupid things embarass the Shit
out of me.
Why?
cause they always leak
that's why.
Within each bead that taunts my skin
it completely blurts out my Emotions!
what the fuck;
no one needs to know
what the hell it is i'm feeling.
they should be oblivious to
my anger
my pain
my shame
my disappointments
my sadness
my nostalgia.


But no
too easy.

damn emotions.

damn tearducts.

Shattered

Like a glass globe,

my whole world was shattered.

My surroundings have dissolved into nothing;

into the something in which I was placed.

My senses dulled, by the blunt force of your words and actions.

My eyes leak as my skin gets cold.

My chest heaves as my mind wanders.

Verbally, Physically, Mentally, Emotionally.

Mangled. Torn. Destroyed. Shattered.

You took my body, made it yours time and time again.

Leaving it in bittersweet despair.

Like a glass globe my whole world shattered.

And it's all because of you.

His Smile

He said my smile is sweet and confident. He says i'm a sweet friend.
But if only he know what I thought of his.

His lovely imperfections, still pearly white.

A genuine grin, wishing to tell tales on end.

His tasteful gifts; his full lips adding lovely color to his beautiful pale face.

His amazing smile causing the cutest, youthful wrinkles along his bright cheery orbs.

It warms my cheeks, it melts my heart.

His smile is new, although his ways are old.

His voice is young, but he speaks of elderly things.

His lips so precious; I wish the took the shape of my lips and pressed softly against them.

I wish his eyes turned bright because of me.

I wish I was the reason his beautiful smile appeared.

If only he truly know what I thought of him and his smile.

Although he claims me to be "confident" trust me dear friends;


I am not <3.